Signs YOU Might be a Bum

I spent the night at my friend Simon's on Friday. Saturday morning, nice and early, I went for a walk to get some OJ (the drink, not the killer/burglar).

I saw a number of people milling about at 7:30 am and thought I'd just give you, the reader, some fairly obvious signs that, if you're committing them, you're a bum.

Sign
You're peeing on a tree. And you're not camping. And you're downtown.

Sign
You woke up under;
- newspaper
- cardboard
- squirrels

Sign
You're drunk at 7:30 am even though you weren't hanging out with anyone (note, this is also a sign that you're an alcoholic)

Sign
You're standing on the sidewalk yelling at a No Standing sign.

Sign
The clothes you're wearing have been on you for more than two days.

Sign
You're wearing a sleeping bag as a cloak.

While it's possible none of the people I observed were bums, I think I'll go with my gut on this one.