Juggernaut

This reminds of those really funny G.I. Joe videos "Who wants a body massage?"

I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!

*******WARNING*******

this has extensive foul language.

South Park's Scientology Episode

There was a new blurb about Isaac Hayes quitting as chef on South Park because of it's recent Scientology-based episode

Here's the episode;

Trey Stone and Matt Parker declare war on Scientology!

This is 100 percent having to do with his faith of Scientology. ... He has no problem – and he's cashed plenty of checks – with our show making fun of Christians.

Edited Blog

I cannot believe I'm doing this, but I am going to forgo blogging about something I want to blog about because I don't want to connect myself or my blog to anything that involves the thing I was going to talk about.

HAHAHAHA.

There's an Abbott and Costello skit in there somewhere.

Let's just say I had finished the post, read it and thought, "Do I really need people knowing that bugs me?"

The answer is, "No."

Proof of Stanley and Me

So I'd posted that the Stanley Cup was in the office here at fjord. The Hockey News finally sent us a link to our pictures. Except for the fact that almost everything I do needs to be seen live and looks incredibly awkward when captured in still format, here I am about the snuggle Lord Stanley's Cup.



Note : No, I do not have a lazy eye as it appears in the pic. It's the fact that they had no red eye dual flash going on and I photoshopped over the red. I looked like i was channeling the Senators and I was fighting it.

Ronders Poker Tour - March Edition

I participated in the Rounders Poker Tour again yesterday afternoon. In February's tournament, I was the seventh person out. A dismal showing considering just how highly I think of my poker skills, 'natch.

This month was a different story. The guys organizing it had a better grasp of the software they license to run the tourney and had figured out table positions and when to shuffle tables based on the software's recommendations. I'd had a lacklustre run against a few seasoned players and wasn't thinking much of my chances. However, I was moved to another table and things started to change. I got several great hands and pushed all-in about five times, most of those were non-calls by the others at the table, but I did manage to double up from the higher stacks hoping to clear me off the board. Which, of course, I was absolutely hoping for. I rarely managed "the nuts" (a completely unbeatable hand), but didn't ever get beaten out. So that was refreshing. The guys that crippled me last month were pushed out early-ish. So that added to my confidence. I was up against all new players (to me, that is, not the game).

I also drank. Which I didn't do last month thinking it would hamper my judgement. But I am capable of drinking a lot of beer which anyone who's sat at a bar with me knows full well. So i could have six beers with very little effect on my playing but making me extremely loose, jovial and talkative. Maybe not an endearing quality for people who are trying to "read" me, but working to my advantage. (I kept referring to each beer as a different tactic. My "folding" beer, my "calling" beer, my "playing erratically" beer, etc.) When I actually played, I was very quiet and closed (the ol' dead eyes, i like to call them) but the minute the hand was over, I was happy and chatty. Keeping players guessing.

I digress. One minute I'm at the second table doing fine and someone (Jim, I believe) calls for a break and another shuffle of the tables. I was happy where I was until someone pointed out we were down to the eight finalists. Including me! Hooah!

Unfortunately, that's as far as I went, but making the final table this month was definitely a better showing for this boy from Shawville.

After I was knocked out, I went on to play two side games. The only hand of note out of these was the first ever Royal Flush I've ever made. It was amazing. All I could muster after the other guy bet was, "Uhhh...ya...I'm all in, I guess." To which he called immediately. When I flipped the king and queen of diamonds and said "Royal Flush" The entire table stood up. The electricity was amazing. I couldn't stand I could barely breathe. Very, very cool moment. Ian (another organizer) got a couple of pictures which I hope to get ahold of.

Shaving

My facial hair grows pretty quickly. As witnessed many times by coworkers and family and friends alike. Usually I sit there scratching at my cheek and someone will generally comment, "Holy, where did all that facial hair come from?" Whereupon I usually reply, "The weekend. I didn't feel like shaving."

What this does afford me is a lot of leeway when it comes to being creative with my facial hair. So I can try out a goatee or a moustache or beard and shave it off in a day. So I'm growing some fine face scruff. It makes me look unprofessional, but whatev.

New Favourite Blog

Overheard in New York

Vonage and 5-6-7-8's

Oh Vonage. I know who you are. Why did you have to ruin a song that was at least playable? Poor Quentin Tarantino. He finds these cool, little bands and then they end up overused by advertisers.

I don't like you, Vonage.

New Job

A month and a half ago I started working for Fjörd Interactif. My first day was greeted with this;



Today was a really cool day. I was just sitting at my desk working away when I got a tap on my shoulder and someone said, "Aren't you going to check out the Stanley Cup?"

After getting him to repeat himself (and never quite believing) I got up to take a look. WELL HOLY SHIT!!!









Someone took a picture of me "snuggling" the cup, but they haven't sent the link yet. I guarantee when I get it, it'll be on the blog.

Open Letter To Blockbuster

Just so you know, Blockbuster, I hate you. Instituting no late fees was possibly the dumbest idea you've ever had. At least the "Guaranteed In-Stock" idea made people want to return to your store(s). Every time I've gone into my local Blockbuster, I am stymied with the lack of selection. Did it not occur to you, Blockbuster, that the people that returned their movies a little late, returned said flicks only because of the late fee? Now all you do is harass people with phone calls several days after the movie's due date. Do you think phone calls bother people? We are constantly barraged by phone calls, emails, and bums on the street. A daily phone call from Blockbuster is just more noise.

As a, up until now, regular renter you should know that it isn't just me. Playing commercials where the shitheads that keep my movies longer than they should justify their actions is not endearing me to you. In fact, it makes me hate you more.

"Sometimes I just don't have time to watch the movie in the time provided."
- Wait, you had time to get in your car, drive to blockbuster, pick out a movie and rent it???

When this all started, I would quietly throw my hands up and say "Ah well." Now I am so annoyed, I want to walk in with a bat, get the addresses of the people you have on your "late list" and start a hitting spree. THEN move on to your corporate headquarters.

Here's a message to your "NO MORE LATE FEES!!" customers. "RETURN YOUR MOVIES ON TIME!!! Then you won't have a late fee...DUMBASS!"